So I watched this episode of South Park about the town buying Toyota Prisus so they can help the environment. But they all got really smug and judgmental to those who didn't buy one. Well all of there smug formed a cloud of smug smog, and it threatened to destroy the city. I only tell you this because that is exactly what happens to me when I get my motivation to eat healthy and work out. I tend to get a little (or a lot ) smug. I think I know everything, which clearly I don't. And I start to say rude things to people who are not doing what I am to better their life. This smug smog that is threatening to take over my life IS NOT GOOD!
Yesterday for example I almost caused a fight between friends because in my "expertise" I told one of them that they were not being supportive of the others goal to get healthy. It was totally not cool, and I felt bad for hours. It did not go along with my goal to stay positive because how can you be positive if you are making other people feel like crap.
Lesson learned and fight avoided. Its only up to me what I do with my body. I don't get to be judgmental about other people and their lifestyles. Mostly because before I got concerned with my health a few years ago, that was me. Maybe I am lucky to have the motivation that I have now, and maybe they will find it on their own and maybe they wont. It shouldn't matter.
I think its super important to stay positive in life. I will be the first one to admit that is hard to do. I sometimes get into these funks and I have to struggle to pull myself back out of them. I can only imagine a person so depressed that they cant pull themselves back from that mindset.
Something that I do to remind myself that life is really not that bad is I remember the people in my life that make me happy. I remember how much I love them, and how much they love me. I think of funny things and stories that I remember them doing or saying. I also think about my future and what I want to accomplish, and what dreams and goals I have.
Last year for about 6 months I was so unhappy. I had moved into a situation I was not prepared for, and I felt sad and alone all the time. Just when I thought about throwing in the towel and moving home to live off my mother, I was reminded of how special the people in my life were and how special I was to them. It might have come in the form of a funny phone call or a blog post that made me laugh, it might have been a little person telling me they loved and missed me so much. Whatever it was it helped me get through a hard time in my life.
I feel like staying positive can help you get through anything and accomplish anything. Just say you are going to do something and keep positive and with hard work and determination you will.
In life health related goals especially people give up if they don't see results right away. I keep learning the hard way that it doesn't happen over night. Its a lesson that I have to keep learning too. But the fact that I have failed so often means that I am not giving up, and I choose to think that is very positive.
Sometimes its hard to find motivation to work out and eat healthy. Its so much easier to stop by Taco Bell and get food for $1.00. It doesn't take any planning or any effort. You just sit in your car and let somebody give you "food". But like everything else in life, easy doesn't always make it worth it. I am in a constant endless cycle of eating good, working out and then something happens and I have to start from scratch again. I guess the fact that I keep starting over means I am never giving up right?
There are lots of reasons why I keep chugging along in this journey. First of all lets just put this out there. Its pure vanity! I would love to walk into any store and find clothes that are cute and don't cost extra because of my size. I would love to be called the hot chick instead of the hot chick's best friend. If you don't think you are in this for the way you want to look, you are crazy. Even if you are skinny, you work out and eat right because you don't want to get fat. Its not a sin to admit it. It is what it is
Second I want to be healthy. I have been lucky and have not had any major health issues. But lets be honest I am not getting any younger and I would still like to have children. I have admitted to myself that If that does happen for me I will be an "older mom" but I can get my body healthy and looking good and be the "hot older mom" right?
Lastly I would like to say I live life to the fullest and I think I am mostly happy. But there are things I don't do because of my size. The water park my nephew wanted to go to this summer was off after I talked him out of it. Water parks are not my thing, but would they be my thing if I felt and looked better?
Anyway the long rant of this whole thing is to get inspired in the month of September.
Shay Carl who is a youtuber actually from Idaho (living in California) lost over 100lbs. He is such an inspiration for me because he lets you know that he understands how you feel and that there is a way out if you just stick to it. So for the month of September he created this "Shaytember" Challenge,30 days to a better life. If its health, if its educational or personal, it doesnt matter. Its about changing your life in 30 days.
If you have time please watch this video and or any shayloss videos.
Well I did it, I didn't do well but I did it. I felt really disappointed in my 5k on Saturday. I will say first off that the last month before the 5k was me slacking of like crazy. I started to run and I wished I was dead. I don't even think I ran half a mile through the whole thing. My chest started to burn and I couldn't even run at all. It might be because I slacked off the last month but I think it was more because I had not been running outside and the fires in Idaho took their toll on my lungs. Also my mom pointed out that I might not be used to the altitude. I always made fun of roommates who couldn't handle the altitude and a couple years away and I am one of them? My friends were very kind. They stayed with me, and totally didn't care when we finished. But I cared. SILD did sooooo awesome and finished in the top 50! I had another cousin who finish in the top 15. We were the last 3. That cannot happen again.
I think my gals could see how disheartened I was and came up with a way to get ready for next year... and life. BFFH suggested doing the lazy man's marathon. Where we have until Christmas to run 26.2 miles. If that is a mile a day so be it. At first me and BFFN freaked until she explained the rules. Then after Christmas we set new goals for the 5k. If that is shave a few minutes off our time from last year..... which to be honest wont be hard. Or like I would really like to make that top 50.
Today I started my lazy Marathon. I will have to ask if I have to run the whole thing or if I can count my run/walk mile that I did today.
Okay its confirmed I can run/walk my 26.2. I think by the time I get those done I will be doing more running than walking so I will set another goal to maybe run the whole time next lazy 26.2. Even if its a mile at a time a day at a time.
Anyway I can chalk this up to a learning experience. It was very humbling. We had a great support. My mom and Aunt rang the cowbell at certain stops along the race and had water ready for us. My nephews cheered loudly in their pjs' and little cousins helped bring a smile to my face.
Though I didn't do as good as I would have liked. It gave me motivation to do better next year. After all its my home turf. I cant be embarrassed again.
So I stepped on the scale for the first time in about 3 weeks. It didn't go well. Not well at all. So fighting the instinct to curl into a ball with Doritos and chocolate I decided to revamp my food again. So I am going veg/vegan. I am really going to work hard on this goal. I have told you before that I never felt so good as when I went veg for almost 2 years. This time I plan on making sure I am getting enough of the good stuff and staying away from the processed bad stuff. My goal is to go until Christmas and then reevaluate in the new year. If I am feeling great then I continue, if I am feeling yuck and I havent lost weight, I will try another tactic.
I know you are all thinking but what about Turkey Day? Well to be honest the best part about Thanksgiving for me is the sweet potatoes, and the mashed potatoes anyway so I will be just fine. My biggest struggle is when I go out or when I go home. But I will have to remember to be even more diligent. I know in the past my lifestyle was met with annoyance and trepidation. But I am a grown ass woman, I can live my life how I want!
So today I am doing a juice fast for today and half way through tomorrow. Only half way because my mom is coming to Boise and is taking me out to dinner. I am sure I will find some veg options where ever we go, but if not I am not going to kill myself over every little mistake.
Also GBK is back from Ireland. I am so scared about what is going to happen at the gym tonight. I may or may not have only worked out one time while she was gone. Yikes! and my race is only 11 days away!!!
So I have heard this rumor that it is harder to lose weight in your 30s. Well lucky for me, I am not in my 30s...or am I? Either way I am having a freaking hard time losing weight! Okay Okay I know what you are saying, you cant eat a whole bag of chips and not go to the gym once in two whole weeks and still think you can lose weight. Oh! Well crap. To be real honest my mind is in another universe right now. Lots of things going on up there. I am worried about school, work, life, money. The usual stuff, but for some reason I am having a hard time dealing with life. So I set some goals for myself this week. Hit up the gym 4 times...at least, and concentrate on my diet. I know how true it is when people say abs are made in the kitchen and not the gym. Booooo! I would rather run 10 miles and then go home and eat pizza. But turns out that doesn't really work.
Also I am having a mental dilemma with myself about going full veg again. I freaking rocked that for almost 2 years! I was awesome at it. Honestly all I want to do right now is move back home and have my mom take care of me. Yep. That is what I want. This grownup stuff is no longer fun!
The one good thing I can say about myself is that when I do get into one of these little funks, its not long and I realize that it shall pass. In the mean time I have this recipe for awesome quinoa salad. It makes a lot of salad. I can eat for a week on it. Which might sound super boring to you, but when you are a single gal, making fabulous meals every night does not sound appealing at all!
I just buy some tortillas and put the salad in a wrap and call it good. Quinoa for those who don't know is power packed with protein. So for somebody like me who doesn't eat a lot of meat anyway it gets the protein into my body. See veg haters, there are other ways besides dead rotting animal carcases to get your protein! Anyway if anybody is interested in the recipe let me know. Also if anybody reads this blog let me know.
