Dream Specific

I gave myself a little break this week. I was lazy sick. Honestly I lost a little momentum. I will not reach my goal of 60 miles this September month but I am hoping to get another 8/10 done by Sunday. I am over my little self indulgent week, and ready to get back on track. I had this amazing dream last night. It ended with me running a marathon and weighing a lot less! Like 110lbs. I don't know why that dream was so specific, but I liked it a lot. It gave me motivation to keep going. I have next summer in my head for me for sure but also for BFFE. Its going to be a fun summer and it will be nice to feel good and look good in my own skin. specific

Chub Rub

Uggg, So here is a super fun topic to talk about today. I am rubbing the skin off underneath my boobs. Its one of those kinds of days people. I have had the same sports bra for ever and I need a new one real bad. I guess it decided it didn't want to work for me anymore because no I have two very painful marks underneath both boobs. I have band-aids on, but still I am not having fun. Most of you people know that I have huge jugs. They started growing around 3rd grade and today draw many an eye. I used to hate them, especially when I was in high school and Jr. high. But now I have embraced the bodaciousness of these gigantic tatas. They fit my body don't get me wrong, I am not going to topple over but still they are pretty big.

My SILD said that Boise had a really good place where you could get a good sports bra but when I called they didn't go up to the size I needed. Story of my life! I have one more place that I am going to try before I hit up the google, but freak they are expensive. Like 50 bucks expensive. I personally think a sports bra should pay me to hold these suckers, but hey... in a perfect world. Tomorrow is my off day at the gym and I am hoping my boobs have time to heal, because I cant stop working out and I cant afford a new one yet.

Crazy Gym Day

So I made my way to the gym today. I knew I was going to push for those 4 miles today. And guess what, I totally did it. Not without some weirdness. So I step on the treadmill and get my music started and I start getting into my groove, and then maybe 1 minute into the song my ipod dies! EEEK! It actually just ran down on the battery but I had just started. I laughed and kinda started to panic. I had 4 miles to go and I needed some beats to get me through it. So I finally found MTV after a few minutes and when I looked down I had already knocked out 1.30 of my 4 miles! Woohoo!  I have to have music, I cant just watch tv shows on the cool monitors on the tread because I push myself to the songs. For example. I would start off at a 3.7 mph and walk until that song is over and then the next song I go to a 3.9 and so on and so on. Then I go back down and come back up. I read somewhere that intervals like that actually are more effective at burning fat. I don't know. All I know is it makes myself push harder and sometimes when that long ass We the Kings song comes on with I am pushing my 4.1 I want to die. So without my music today I was freaked out until I realized MTV sometimes still plays music, and especially in the mornings. So Win for me today.

Also I sweat like a freaking pig. Its pretty much amazing. I leave with my shirt completely wet. There is a nice ring around my collar that may or may not reach my boobs. I am kind of embarrassed of it, but then also I think its kickass that I sweat so much. I know that means I am working suppa hard. I hate those girls that wear tiny outfits to the gym and come in with makeup on and kinda work out. But mostly not. Give me a break.

Chubby Bunny

There is no way that I am not going to reach my 60 mile goal this month. I refuse to lose. Also I decided since that post about wanting praise or not that I in fact DO want praise. Mostly I want praise because when you accomplish a goal its nice to get a little pat on the back. FYI.
 Sometimes I wonder how long it will be before I start noticing physically how much work I am doing. Its easy to get antsy and then give up when you don't immediately see the results you want. I am not giving up this time. I have BFFE's wedding next summer. I gotta look fab. I am already thinking about my October goals. Its going to amazing! In the mean time I keep going and going. I am like the energizer bunny's chubby older sister.

Done and Done

I finished the lazy chicks marathon today. It felt pretty awesome. Mostly because I am sure I kicked everybody's trash and also because I like to finish a goal. Although I am done with one goal. I still gotta get in almost 33 miles in 14 days! Eeek! I can do it though. I got this.

Letting myself off the hook

So this morning I had a argument with myself for a good 10 minutes on whether I should go to the gym or roll over and go back to sleep. Guess who won... I did! Its awesome when you fight with yourself because you always win. But the ultimate decision I made was to go to the gym. I just kept telling myself, its one hour out of the whole day. I can do it. So I did.  I am almost done with my goal of the lazy chicks marathon as you can tell from my ticker and I feel pretty awesome. My goal for the month of September is to run/walk 60 miles. I think 8 of those 26.2 miles were done in August, so I stepped up my 2 miles a day to 3 miles a day.  By the end of next Thursday I want to be walking/running at least 4. I am not going to lie, its hard and I swear sweat a lot. But I truly believe that anything worth having is worth fighting for. I am in the fight for my life and it feels pretty good to know that every day it will get easier and every day I will get stronger. I want so many things in my life. And not really things like objects but I want to live a full happy life. I am going to get there.

Twisted

So I am conflicted. I want people to tell me that I am awesome, because lets face it I totally am. Maybe I should start this whole thing over. I am doing this blog for me. Totally me. But I would really like at least my friends to comment on blog posts. But alas that has not happened in a while. So instead of being all ass hurt about it, I changed my attitude and decided that this is a diary of my journey and who cares if nobody reads it besides me. Okay let me be honest, I would like people to read it, but its just not happening. So I decided who cares. Me, just a little. I want people to praise me and tell me I rock. But at the same time I think that kind of attention is kind of condescending. I don't need to to tell me good job. I don't need you to tell me that I rock. I freaking know I do. So what do I want? to be praised or ignored.? I don't freaking know! I want it all. Don't get me wrong, most of my friends are so supportive in a good way. But there are some that when they go to tell me that they believe in me I want to punch them in the stomach and tell them, I don't need you to believe in me because I believe in myself. Rude right?  I guess bitches be crazy. That is all I can find for an answer. And no, dudes and other chicks better not be calling me a bitch. But I think its okay if I call myself a crazy bitch, because lets face it. Sometimes I am.

Fad Diets

So I am annoyed. I have GBK who I have mentioned in a few posts and she is really smart. She just finished her masters degree, and she is just a smarty smart smart. However we were texting back and forth and she said she had lost 8lbs which is supper exciting! So I asked her how she did it, and she goes on to tell me about this diet that tells her not to eat breakfast and to take 5 drops of whatever this crap is before a meal. I know I am not an expert but I am pretty sure that is a bad idea. So I asked her if she was planning on making this her food plan for life. She still has not answered me. I love GBK just so everybody knows but... she also told me that right before she got married she lost about 50lbs. She was going to the gym 2 times a day and restricting her calories crazy like.
But for some reason, she gained it all back. I know the reason, and smart people know the reason, but for some reason GBK doesn't get it. Fad diet are stupid people. Sure they work, for a while, and then when you go back to eating like a human... all the weight comes back. Duh! The only way to lose weight and keep it off is to eat a healthy whole food diet. FOR LIFE. Lots of fruits, lots of veggies, lots of whole grains, and protein,(plant or animal). That is it. There is no magic pill, or magic surgery or magic drops that will help you maintain a healthy lifestyle.
I know this, I have know it for years. The hard part is though, keeping out the junk on a regular basis and only allowing yourself those naughty items once in a while. Its hard. Its really hard. Thus the basis of this blog. I don't know all the answers, heck I don't even know half the answers, but I know what wont work. Fad Diets!

Pain

So I have been walk/running full time for 7 days. I am pretty proud of myself. So is my mom. Anyway I have noticed that I have been in pain the first two miles of my training. I don't know if its because I set a time goal and I am pushing so hard to get that, but then after my two miles everything feels better. The last couple days I kept wondering if it was all in my head and then it happened again today. So I don't know what to think. Its in my ankles and shins mostly. So I will hop of the treadmill and do some stretching but it doesn't seem to help much. I read this article about how you are not suppose to stretch cold. Meaning in high school when our coaches made us stretch out before we ran laps they were doing it wrong. You are suppose to warm up your muscles before you stretch. So usually I walk for a few minutes and then get off and do some stretching and then jump back on. I am sure my method has helped me with fewer aches and pains but this new pain is down right annoying. I really have to fight for those two miles and then after I get them I guess my body is telling me to keep going. Stupid Body. If anybody has any suggestions I would love to hear.

In the mean time I just keep chugging along.

The Push

 I think that somewhere inside you have to push yourself to accomplish whatever goals you have in life. I have learned that nobody is going to do it for you. It was so nice having GBK at the beginning of the summer, but now that school started and I realized out that she wasn't going to be there to get me to the gym, I would have to push myself. My goal for now is to be able to run the mesa marathon 5k next year in a faster time, and to run the whole thing. and maybe secretly beat all my family members. I have been trying to do a little more running with my run/walk training. Its really hard dang it. But I am determined to push myself more every day. Today I ran about half a mile in my 2.75 training. I wanted to stop at the 2 mile mark but I just kept pushing and pushing. My health is important to me. I want to be around for a long long time, and I want to keep all my limbs doing it. I am not going to quit. Even if I mess up one day. I refuse to give up. When I reach this goal, I will make more goals. I don't ever want to rest on my laurels. I never want to stop living and striving for a better life.

September....and go!

Its September 1st so day one of 30 days of changing my life. It Saturday and I had every intention of sleeping in and then going to the gym, but I woke up and watched the Shayloss video and got really inspired. I got my tush to the gym and knocked out my 2 miles in 30 minutes. I forgot to eat a little something before I left so I ran out of energy before I wanted and had to really push through. But I did it! While my goal is to run/walk 60 miles this month I am hoping that buy the end I will want to do more. Like a million!! Also I need a new sports bra bad. These things are out of control!