Twisted

So I am conflicted. I want people to tell me that I am awesome, because lets face it I totally am. Maybe I should start this whole thing over. I am doing this blog for me. Totally me. But I would really like at least my friends to comment on blog posts. But alas that has not happened in a while. So instead of being all ass hurt about it, I changed my attitude and decided that this is a diary of my journey and who cares if nobody reads it besides me. Okay let me be honest, I would like people to read it, but its just not happening. So I decided who cares. Me, just a little. I want people to praise me and tell me I rock. But at the same time I think that kind of attention is kind of condescending. I don't need to to tell me good job. I don't need you to tell me that I rock. I freaking know I do. So what do I want? to be praised or ignored.? I don't freaking know! I want it all. Don't get me wrong, most of my friends are so supportive in a good way. But there are some that when they go to tell me that they believe in me I want to punch them in the stomach and tell them, I don't need you to believe in me because I believe in myself. Rude right?  I guess bitches be crazy. That is all I can find for an answer. And no, dudes and other chicks better not be calling me a bitch. But I think its okay if I call myself a crazy bitch, because lets face it. Sometimes I am.